35) Festive Cock

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How about some festive cock?  My first dick pic, from an old schoolfriend (I’m happy with just the one in case anyone is wondering.)

Sorry, it’s been a little while.  I took the kids to school as they had super heavy bags on account of returning all their library books for the end of term.  The school is next to the café.  Here I am in the café.  I have warned the nice lass on the counter that I could be in need of aid as I try my first coffee since those funny pills unsettled me.  I take my first sip and pray that my recalcitrant bowel bends to the norm and I manage not to shit my pants.  Speaking of pants, last night I slept in the nude.  A return to the norm.  A little worry about a devious little squirt appearing and leaving a wet patch, or warming Wifey’s back was unfounded.  The continence is going OK.  Experts inform us that continence in the night is the first thing to go back to normal.  Now that sounds not quite right, because obviously you have less consciousness at night, so one would have thought then when you drift off to the land of nod, your bladder can do all manner of things that it keeps secret from you, until another sense takes over and you realise there’s a warm wet patch gradually spreading from your crotch.  Or Wifey’s elbow connects to a softer part of you as you realise golden showers are not high on her list of preferred sexual practices.  So luckily for us, the night time comes first.  Wearing the nappy pants, in my experience, was not actually necessary, but more of a confidence booster.  I wore them for a few nights, gradually moving down in size until I got to the minimal, but formidable sounding Tena “man shield”.  Man shield? It’s a triangular, black piece of padding that has the appearance of the front part of a g-string.  Without the string bit, thus earning its moniker from its job, which is to shield your pants from the occasional dribble.  The “piss protector” would be more appropriate.  Now that got me thinking about other things that are named inappropriately, and you will be overjoyed to hear that I have misspent hours of my long service leave trawling the Internet for examples with which to share with my lovely readers, in the guise of cheap humour.

Let’s start with people:

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Bless old Fannie

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Who smelt it dealt it

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Michael Hunt’s friend?

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No, just no

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I’m sure he was a very nice man

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Legend

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Fantastico!

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Superb

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Aaah

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And finally who doesn’t want a taste of dick black?

How’s about some foods….

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It’s bread

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Beer- bit fishy

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Who’s fancies a nice cup of….oh…….

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Nothing else

And finally, not food, but a magic spray for all of us recovering ex-prostate holders, although I’m not sure the pic on the tin helps much.

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This weeks stress has been from work.  Haha, I took time off to avoid that, but it goes to show that we are never truly away from it, even when we aren’t there.  Modern day living eh?  It’s just been the payroll issue that I predicted in one of the earlier entries.  Homeless or mortgage free.  Payroll decided on the former for me.  I was working on the premise that I would revert back to my normal position whilst off on leave and be paid accordingly.  Someone from payroll decided I needed a treat and called me up to say that wasn’t right, and they wanted to pay me at the higher rate that I was working at before I left for my operation.  Despite my surprise and two or three “are you sure’s”  they tell me that’s what was going to happen.  Great!  I spent that on nice stuff for the family Christmas.  Although, luckily, I remained suspicious and formulated a strategy where only the first few weeks would be at the higher rate, and then I would revert back to normal.  Just as well really, as payroll, of course, got back in touch to say they had it all wrong and that the extra that they gave me, they now wanted back, and to add insult to injury, decided that I’d like a day with no pay thrown in there to boot.  Seems a bit mean just before Christmas.  And I’ve got cancer lol.   No doubt it’ll be sorted out eventually, but I could do without it to be honest.  The mortgage will just have to pay for Christmas, and I’ll have to work another week or two before being home loan free.

These blog entries sometimes take a few days to write, so things develop as time goes on.  I went to see the GP yesterday, and finally have managed to clear the resistant infection!  My white cells are elevated still, but there are no microorganisms lurking there anymore, so we are all happy.  I’m still waiting for my appointment to go back in the new year, to see if I have the all clear, or if the cancer menace lingers on in one form or another somewhere in my body.

It will stay in my soul for ever.

Until next time.

4 thoughts on “35) Festive Cock

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